Misc. · On Reporting · Things That Are Not Funny · Uncategorized · What You Can Do

Happy International Women’s Day

Ways to celebrate International Women’s Day: Concoct a potion of lavender and the shattered glass of ceilings your friends and foremothers smashed through, drink it down and digest it because of your rock solid gut. Get yourself a grass-fed, hormone-free steak from a local farmer and feast of the insecurities of the patriarchy. Buy yourself a bar of chocolate and smear it over your breasts, scars or bindings. Masturbate in candlelight and cuddle yourself close afterwards, murmuring how strong, courageous, beautiful, and delicate your fingertips are. Put your hand in your mouth and pull out the wad of tampons that have been blocking your airwaves and stopping you from speaking out lately. Light a fire and burn every love letter you’ve ever received. Crash into every man who takes up the sidewalk. Expose yourself to toxic masculinity by shooting it up in the daylight in your favourite dress and discover you’re immune. Gift your mother a bundle of self-worth and thank her for carrying you, pushing you out her vagina, having you cut from her stomach, adopting you, fostering you, loving you. Gift your father a sprig of lavender and tell him you see his repression and that today is for him too. Given that your parents aren’t around, do these things for your chosen families and friends. Make the freedom fighters in your life a freedom face mask of oatmeal, honey, your favourite dairy or dairy-free beverage and the thanks of the positively-affected, encourage them to eat it off their faces. Ask to kiss the noses of all your gender-queer friends, with permission, lick their tears from the corners of their mouths. Twirl your fingers in the tresses of your favourite person, tell them that you’ve never seen more resilient hair. Drink coffee from the palm of the hand that feeds you, once you’re done, finish by biting off all its fingers and declaring yourself a self-sustaining organism. Have an orgasm laughing with your best friends, laughter and orgasms are reasonable states of wonder in all relationships. 
To me International Women’s Day means celebrating the leaps, bounds, and inches we have gained across the equality spectrum. It is about taking time to acknowledge the missing and murdered indigenous folks. It’s about resisting the set upon limitations based on gender discrimination. 
I celebrate, commemorate, mourn, and think for everyone who has been told to cut their hair, grow their hair, shave their legs, applied makeup, everyone who has ever worn a condom, inserted a tampon, menstrual cup, used any feminine wizardry of any kind. For those who have undergone mastectomies, hysterectomies, had IUDs inserted, miscarried, had abortions, cross-dressed, transitioned, popped a zit, zipped up their own dress, used the morning after pill, had a rape kit, gone for STI screenings, fallen in love, listened to the Sarah McLachlan discography on their floor, bled on their sheets or clothes, whether in the safety of their homes or in public. For anyone who has been ashamed of their vaginal discharge, or uncertain about whether or not to douche. Everything I do, I do for you, and me, and that person over there. 
As Lila Watson and aboriginal activist groups in Queensland, Australia have stated: “If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time… If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”


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